Poof

Poof. "I just lost it."

What in God's name is that supposed to mean? Do guys have some genetic love extinguisher in their hearts? Is it some involuntary thing that happens—extinguishing a flame? Why is it that one day everything is perfect and then the next thing you know the guy just says it's over with no other explanation than "I just lost it"? And then there's the good, old, faithful It's Not You, It's Me. Oh, c'mon, fellas. You can say that in hopes of sparing our feelings, but when you just get up and go without any notice, we're going to take it personally.

Four wonderful weeks and now you're gone. You're done. You "just lost it". And I've gained a feeling of helplessness because I have no idea what went wrong when everything felt so right. I wonder if I should have seen it coming. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened to me. At this point, I should just expect that when something—someone—appears too good to be true, it's because they are.

Was it something I said? Was it because we talked too much or too little? Was it that we never saw each other? Was it because I wrote you a song? Did that cross a line with you? Was it just me? Ugh.

You were so perfect. And I never felt the way I did—and kind of still do—about anyone before. I know that it'll be a long time before something comes along that is anything close to you. I keep kicking myself in the head for not using Gorilla Glue on you and I.

God. If you're reading this right now, I hope you're sad. No, I don't mean that. I just hope for the better and miss the best. Does that even make sense? I hope you're happy. When you find someone that is as perfect for you as you were for me, I hope you don't let her slip away. And if she does slip away, then maybe, just maybe, you'll understand what this is like for me.

Poof. I just found it.