The Two

I can see it even when she thinks it's hidden. The pain. I see it. The pain is as dark as the sun is bright. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but it's how we all feel. There's just something missing. Something not right about this whole thing. And obviously by doing something wrong, things become not right, but that doesn't mean they're the way things ought to be. Maybe she just felt so distant that things weren't focused. Maybe the love was a little blurry, a little foggy, through the many miles and endless rain. But it went from rain to thunder to hail. And the hail beats down mercilessly. All we want is the rain. To wash away things. To clean it up. To signify that time has passed and that the past is past.

You may think I am referring to something a little more drastic than a break-up, like, perhaps, a crime or an illness or a death. However, breaking hearts is a crime, being lovesick is an illness, and losing love is a death. She'll be alright. I love her so much. And if everyone else loves her as much as I do, we'll be able to fill in the gaps. "She will be loved." She is loved.

Woah. That was a little depressing. I mean, that's not to say this whole thing is just dandy, but it's not the end of the world, even if it feels like it to two people. I still think these two people should be together. I know she made mistakes. Both of them did. But the biggest one they'd make would be to stop loving each other. And if my suspicions are correct, they are never going to stop loving each other. They'll just love each other without hugs and kisses.

Oh, Jesus. I'm balling my eyes out. Damn it. they need to get back together. It's hard on us so I can't imagine how hard it is for the two. I loved them when they were "the two". That was when they were "the two that became one." Self, stop crying.

And now these country songs about lost love are playing. They say if you listen to country music, everything you've ever lost will come back to you. I wish they listened to country.

De Cette Façon (This Way)

Are you Superman
Cause it's startin' to seem
Like you're so damn perfect
That I'm lost in a dream
When I make a joke
You repeat what I say
I love that you laugh
Cause no one else gets me that way

You have a way with
Making me blush
It just takes one word and
I can't get enough
When you speak French
I bet all the girls want to faint
I'm the only one left standing
But then you blow me away

Chorus:
And I can just tell you get me
And you've got me
You'll have me
Please no goodbyes, just hellos
Bonjour
S'il vous plait
Cause no one else gets me that way

I long to see you
But you never have time
I'd be fine with that
If I could call you mine
To hold your hand
And wear your sweatshirt to bed
To have you close
Whenever I get upset

I know if you'd hold me
It'd be okay
And I'd never ever
Want that moment to change
You know just how to
Get me to smile
No one else has been able
In quite a while

(Chorus)

(Bridge)

(Chorus 2x)

Yore Days (Excerpt Three)

...

When the war came, it was a tsunami, taking with it American culture of the day--sweeping it far from its homeland. The identity of America was redefined and my mother found that she herself was forced to change. No longer was the youth of America a population of innocent and naive children of modern times. The war cut years out of a timeline giving Young America no choice but to adapt and mature. My mother was forced to grow up and view the world realistically before the age at which other generations were.

The young man that my father was let the tsunami drag him along with it, far from my mother. Then was a time of correspondence through written words and described feelings on crisp sheets of paper. Howard Stevens sent the woman he loved romance in an envelope. They are now in my possession and my heart. His fervent affection for my mother was captured in ink and I will forever hold those letters dear to me.

...

Yore Days (Excerpt Two)

...

The Depression became her parent, raising her as a practical young woman with dreams behind fearful eyes. She lived on nothing except her mother's and father's good-sense. It kept her spirit alive even though around her, people were being kicked to the ground--some, below the ground--by their own achievements. When everything backfired on the world, she had a shield prepared.

Then the war came marching in and her faith seemed to be being deported to men across the oceans who needed it more. She backed down only to come up a victor. She maintained hope and love, never daring to let them fall into the darkness that was consuming the lives around her. Friends, dear and beloved friends, were shipped out. Some were never seen again after their ships disappeared beyond the horizon of the shining seas.

She kept all of that certitude about everything being alright because her everything came to the forefront. And her everything--her soldier--was sent to the front.

...

Thank You, My God

I don't know who to thank, what to blame, but I'm happy. I walk the streets of this teeny tiny town and have a happy-go-lucky feeling that I know no one can take away. The blue skies, the puffy white clouds, the crystal clear water slipping over my feet as I sit on the rocks overlooking the lake. It's all picturesque and perfect. I'm greeted with smiles and compliments, and those head-turns that fill me to the brim with confidence. And then there's him. He multiplies this invulnerability, these flawless moments, by a million.

I hadn't been able to write songs for a while. I guess my heart wasn't in it. It didn't have stories to tell or beauty to show. But as soon as he entered the scene, my heart kicked in and now words tumble out of me, out of my soul, into a blank storybook, empty pages of my memory, just waiting for the right character. Now that he's here, we're writing a story together. Two heads are better than one, and in the end, this story will be a bestseller. The chapters will be so beautiful that I'll run them through my mind day after day and even as I sleep. I'll dream of him. Of us.

Oh, Lordy, thank you, my God.

The Missing Flavor

(My lyrics to "Wanted You More" by Lady Antebellum.)

You left the scene with silence

But your voice echoes in the wind

You dressed your words up nicely

But the cover-up was too thin

One word from you

Sends me back a few

Thousand years to a hopeful past

That's how long I've been waiting

And felt my heart aching

Since I found this hopelessness would last

Chorus

I can taste the missing flavor

Of you and your sweetness

We used to be simply one person

Completing each other's completeness

I thought you'd see

The hints I would leave

That I just wanted what was mine

I still thought you as my one, my only

But that was a different time

Chorus

On the Subject (Of Love)

The lesson we should get from the concept of love is not to go out and find it, but to be taught to recognize it.

Some people think love should be taught or one should be exposed to it lightly. That love is almost like lemonade that's too strong and has got too much flavor. So you water it down. But I think that's what is so wonderful about love. It's supposed to jolt your senses and you're suppose to experience something completely different. Taste something you've never tasted before. Something both sweet and sour. But you love it just the same.

It's not a waste of time talking to you, but you don't know that it'd be time better spent if we were together.